Lock Up

Last night my mom and I went to this Pro-Life dinner thing for the new Pregnancy center in Clovis. I was serving the food. I HATE being a waitress. why? well, my people skills are like...2 and that is just not my thing. I freeze up and get all trembley. this is also one of the reasons why I'm a great actor, but not in front of people I don't know. It's like a paralyzing stage fright! STRESS MAKES ME LOCK UP! That's why I'm so terrible at tests and math. my brain freezes. I'm still suffering today from yesterday's stress!

I was on my feet for most of the evening and when we got to sit down and eat, I couldn't eat very much because of my nerves. Mom always says that I always look calm, cool and collected and I bet that none of my friends that I was serving with could see all the stress I was feeling. because I do look cool calm and collected when I'm freaking out. I'm not sure why. but it makes life even worse for me sometimes, being able to hide those emotions so well!

The night before last I didn't get a lot of sleep. I'm not sure why. Last night I didn't get a lot of sleep. I was serving at the dinner all night long in my dreams and I was half awake for most of the night. Rachel kept coughing, so that kept me up too!

I also had two demonic visitors. Let me tell you, it is not pleasant to be sleeping and then have someone invisible pin you to your pillow and cover your mouth so you can't tell it to get the heck out of here! I've dealt with them before so it wasn't really a big problem, I just can't understand why all of a sudden they are interested in ME! Dad said it's because we're getting close to something and it's part of my spiritual training so I know how to deal with demons when I'm testifying to people. I think they don't like that I'm going to be doing that walk-a-thon for make-a-wish on Saturday. that sounds a bit crazy, but satan HATES it when we do stuff that's good and right. so it stands to reason. If you think I'm making this up, I'm not. the spirit world is real and the dark side is NOT fun, no matter what Satan tells you.

I think Satan is trying to scare me into hiding from God, but I know that God has given me the power to get rid of the unwelcome visitors that sometimes show up and I've witnessed some miraculus things. If I've learned anything from my unwelcome visitors it's that if demons are real, than the spirit world is real and if the spirit world is real then angels are real and if angels are real that means God is real and if God is real, then I'm in good hands and God is NEVER going to leave me to face my problems on my own.